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"In lieu of staging an actual game and letting people experience something in reality, we've decided to just team up with BuzzFeed to determine who you would have rooted for, if the game had actually been played," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

“I like to use different colored markers to represent forwards, center and the defensemen,” said Quenneville. “I usually have a few of each color stashed here and there: in my suit coats, at the desk, in the sock drawer at home. But I can stop anytime. I only do it, you know, before games. Sometimes after.”

The moment Cubs fans have been waiting for is reportedly here: The team is set to announce a deal with Comcast to carry its new Marquee Sports Network just in time for Opening Day. There is a catch however.

“After hearing about our $400 million partnership with Microsoft, we heard a lot of feedback from our fans that they never really saw Microsoft Surface Pro tablets at all during our broadcasts,” said Goodell. “We have this great partnership, but fans aren’t really aware of it.”

Among the many topics discussed: Brad's invitation to join the illuminati, our discovery of a FB page called "ChugHub," advice for Brad before getting his hair clippered, feedback from last week's episode, Chug-Chug's Earth Day tips and thoughts for redesigning Wrigley Field, Joe's troubles at home (both with his neighbor's WiFi and his wife South Side Gina, Jen's issues with White Claw, and much more.