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While being sequestered for questioning, Bennett called coach Lovie Smith to inform him that he would not be making the trip to San Diego. A very groggy Smith calmly reminded his valued receiver that the game this Sunday was at home. A humbled Bennett apologized to the TSA and offered to buy everyone some TCBY.

Purdue University has long been known for its rich tradition of producing high quality quarterbacks. In fact, the West Lafayette, Indiana school proudly fashions itself the “Cradle of Quarterbacks.” Rightfully so, as the school boasts alumni including Bob Griese, Jim Everett, Len Dawson and Drew Brees.

“I heard how rowdy those fans get for their sports,” said Hester. “It should be nothing to get one to hit me and keep this streak going.”

The Cubs are openly seeking a replacement for Paul Friedman, Wrigley Field's public address announcer for the past 16 seasons. One interesting candidate who used a popular career website to apply was former second baseman and minor league manager Ryne Sandberg.

Cubs GM Jim Hendry has lots of work left to do as Spring Training begins, but he might have trouble doing his job from his new location. After proclaiming the Cubs will be in contention this year while talking to reporters earlier this week, Hendry was dragged away kicking and screaming by three men in white coats and brought to the nearest psychiatric hospital for evaluation.

A paternity test conducted by the Maury Povich Show has revealed that famed Italian model Fabio is in fact the father of Packers linebacker Clay Matthews.

In an attempt to capitalize on Tyler Colvin's hitting ability, Cubs GM Jim Hendry has petitioned the league to allow the youngster to play a newly created position.