Sport

Why They Might Be Good: Creaky Charlotte co-owner Michael Jordan will not be taking the court. "I very badly wanted to play," Jordan griped. "I'm in great shape. I've never shot better. But [Bobcats majority owner] Robert Johnson said that if he sees me in a pair of sneakers, he'll club me like a baby seal." Also, oddly versatile swingman Gerald Wallace is a legitimate threat to get a sextuple-double each night.

Andy Dao, owner of the fantasy football team "Andy's Daominators," said he plans to support his star wide receiver Terrell Owens through this tough time in his life. He held a press conference at team headquarters, which double as his studio apartment in Lakeview.

A day after Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens survived an alleged painkiller overdose, Bears receiver Mushin Muhammad was found unresponsive at his residence, apparently from popping too many vitamins.

Why They Might Be Good: The Celts have five point guards with the talent to start – Delonte West, Sebastian Telfair, Tony Allen, and rookies Rajon Rondo and Allan Ray – and one would assume that at least two of them are bound contribute on a nightly basis. Maybe. Possibly. Theoretically. Plus at some point around January, Paul Pierce will go on a tear in which he scores 164 points in four consecutive games.

Seattle Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren should be paying attention to his team's marquee match up with the Bears this weekend, but he's instead focused on his on-going paternity suit. Holmgren's legal parents, Barbara and Lincoln, are in a custody battle over the coach with an Alaskan Walrus, named Wally.

Dusty Baker and George Bush seem to have a lot of obvious common traits, but perhaps the strongest is their affinity for nonsensical nicknames.

Most people were happy about the Cubs 14-6 win over the Milwaukee Brewers on Tuesday, but not right fielder Jacque Jones.