NHL

The Chicago sports world was rocked to its foundation Wednesday when uber-popular smut-raking blog Deadspin broke shocking news about Blackhawks star Patrick Kane, including that the young millionaire flies a discount airline.

In a rare move of solidarity, the four major sports leagues have banded together to pass a national mandate requiring all professional athletes to have their mouths sewn shut at the signing of their first contract.

Thanks to an early postseason exit, the Blackhawks will have plenty of spare time this offseason. This is how they plan to spend it.

After a thrilling first-round OT Game 7 win in Vancouver over the Blackhawks Tuesday night, the Canucks and their fans said they are really excited to be whining their way into the second round where their incessant complaining and bellyaching is sure to annoy the crap out of Nashville, their next opponent.

The Vancouver Canucks were dealt a huge blow Tuesday afternoon when superstar center Henrik Sedin announced he is quitting hockey to pursue his true passion: diving.

With their number one goalie shell-shocked and backup injured, the Canucks have decided to go sans netminder for the series-deciding game against the Blackhawks Tuesday night in Vancouver.

Frustrated after watching the Canucks slash and hit smaller players but skate away from enforcer John Scott, the Blackhawks are going to pull the old switcheroo.