Hungover Crawford asking everyone what time victory parade starts
"Man, this headache is killer but I've got to get to the parade," said Crawford, who thought it was Friday and had no recollection of attending the parade Friday and delivering an epic, profanity-laced 20-second speech at the team's victory rally in Grant Park. "I better get going if I don't want to miss anything."
Several Cubs players cut into Blackhawks parade line
“Wow. This is much bigger than the Little League opening day parade we’d have every year back in Little Rock,” Arkansas native Travis Wood said. “However, I am a bit surprised. There aren’t any clown cars here and I haven’t seen Jim Belushi yet.”
Blackhawks officially designate Belushi as a pain in the ass
“This has to end,“ a Hawks player said. “After one of the games in the Detroit series, I was in the shower and he’s there snapping my rear end with a towel."
Several Blackhawks still in running on America’s Got Talent
“This year, I discovered my ability to grow the beard of a 50-year-old lumberjack within minutes,” said Saad.
Hawks to have victory parade every day until Bears season starts
"Does this mean we'll be going bar hopping every day?" Hawks winger Patrick Kane asked. "[Teammate Jonathan] Toews says he only plans to get blitzed the day of the parade ... which means we could be in for a real party."
National Guard sent to Winnetka after most recent Hawks celebration outburst
In the latest incident, at least two recycling bins and a hanging plant were tossed into the parking lot of a building housing a hot yoga business.
Stanley Cup handlers hoping Chicago strip clubs have improved since 2010
"Worst gentlemen's clubs ever," said Pritchard. "And every night one horned-up player after another tried dragging us and the Cup out to these dumps. Either the girls were ugly and naked at places where you could get liquored up or kind of hot and mostly clothed at places that served only beer. What is this town all about anyway?"
