Hawks sign Patrick Ewing, Patrick Stewart, Neil Patrick Harris
“For years I have played a character on television who has won numerous laser tag championships. If you fail to see how that translates onto the ice, just wait for it…”
Blackhawks discovered to be ‘pretty good’ after conversation with Grandma during Christmas
She didn't stop there. Apparently, the Bears employ a quarterback named Jay Cutler, my wife and I need to have a child and Aunt Rosemary's knee acts up in this weather.
Bloody, combative Andrew Shaw removed from elf duties at local mall
“Some kids started asking Santa too many questions,” said Shaw. “So I asked them if they wanted to dance, dropped my little green gloves and went to town. I didn’t think it was a big deal since we were about the same size.”
12 Digital Holiday Cards From Chicago Sports Fans
It's that time of year again, and if you're a Chicago sports fan looking to celebrate the season, these cards might be for you.
Join The Heckler for Blackhawks-Canucks at the United Center Friday, Dec. 20
Join a big group of crazy Hawks fans as we head to United Center to take on the Canucks on Friday, Dec. 20. Co-hosted with our friends at Joel Quenneville's Mustache. Space is running out so sign up today!
Geico un-sponsors Blackhawks defense
“We stand for low, low rates on car insurance,” said company representative Ray Reed. “But one thing you can’t skimp on is clearing skaters out of the crease. It doesn’t take a caveman to know that. Remember them? The Geico cavemen? They briefly had a sitcom. Wow.”
Hawks re-acquire Kris Versteeg exclusively to rap new goal song
“We’ve been draining every ounce of energy from this song for several years,” said Bowman. “Honestly, at this point it’s become way too humble. Seriously. We’ve got rings, plural. Girls. Whirlpools. The guys are popping out babies left and right. It’s time to rap about it.”
