Chicago sports fans given week off work to mourn following Rose, Kane injuries
After yesterday's injury to Patrick Kane that could leave the NHL's point leader out until at least the playoffs, and the announcement that Derrick Rose was forced to undergo the third surgery on his knee in three years, all fans of Chicago sports franchises have been given a week off of work to grieve properly.
Chicago sports fans experience great disturbance in the force
Just as suddenly as the Super Fans finished counting Mini-Ditkas and fell asleep, five million sports fans in the greater Chicago area awoke suddenly to a great disturbance in the Force. It was as if two life forces had been simultaneously snuffed out by the dark side.
NHL informs Hawks they’re not required to turn over puck in own zone
"We got a call from the guys in the war room in Toronto, expressing concern that perhaps Chicago defensemen were under the illusion they weren't allowed to skate or pass the puck out of the zone," said an NHL spokesperson.
Penguin goalie’s jockstrap found in Calumet City
Police found the jockstrap of Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury in a Calumet City alley after the garment went missing following a series of dekes by the Hawks’ Patrick Kane before scoring a goal in an overtime shootout win.
Eddie Olczyk headed to rehab after ice cream binge
"For years, Eddie has struggled to keep his love of soft-serve ice cream under control. While his obsession with the frozen treat may seem harmless, like when he jokes with partner Pat Foley about getting some ice cream during broadcasts, it can lead to destructive behavior. We all love Eddie and just want him to get better soon."
Toews cuts back to 23 hours of practice on non-game days
"Obviously, it's a slippery slope. First I cut back to three hours of skating drills before lunch, and next thing you know I'm going to bed without doing my usual 1,000 squats. But, it would be really nice to eat dinner or maybe even watch half an episode of Breaking Bad. That's still on the air, right? I haven't turned on my TV in three years."
Blackhawks announce ‘How Many Times Will Seabrook Give the Puck Away’ promotion
The Blackhawks tried out the new idea on Tuesday night for the first time. Season ticket holder Tommy Peterson said, "My card was 8. I really thought I was going to win as Seabrook had 8 turnovers late in the third, but then he lazily attempted a pass in our zone and ended up with 9 turnovers. Oh well! Maybe next time!"
