All scoring and non-scoring plays to be automatically reviewed during Super Bowl
"In addition to getting every call right, it will also provide much-needed stoppage time for players to rest, advertisers to advertise and fans to get snacks or use the restroom," said Goodell. "Everybody wins. Plus, we can now bill the Super Bowl as a two-day event, which is sure to excite people. If four hours of football is good, then 36 hours is better, right?"
Patriots and Seahawks a ‘dream match-up,’ says NFL’s most obnoxious fan
Greerson, who also is known for going into work on Mondays saying, "Cheer up everyone, we got a whole week ahead of us!" said that he likes the Seahawks "because they won last year, and Pete Carroll seems like a guy I'd like to get a beer with," but added that "Bill Belichick is probably my favorite coach out there, and that Tom Brady sure is handsome!"
Air transferred out of footballs used to further inflate Belichick’s ego
"You may be wondering if we purposefully deflated our balls and the answer is 'Yes'," admitted a smug and unapologetic Belichick. "Sure, we had home field advantage and a better all-around team, but is that ever enough to stick it to your opponent?"
Family intercepts Packers fan who’d already begun trip to Super Bowl on tractor
"My tractor's a beauty, but it doesn't have any heat," said Schultz. "About 30 minutes into the ride I had to stop at Shopko to pick up a new pair of Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls to help stay warm for the long drive to Phoenix. That's where my family found me and broke the terrible news."
Fox says Bears defense will ditch ‘Prevent 60’ scheme next year
"While the scheme technically achieved its objective, it's been my experience that setting more challenging goals is the way to go," said Fox. "It's pretty basic. If you only score 20 to 30 points per game on average, then holding the other team to 55 isn't going to result in victory."
John Fox hiring immediately fixes everything wrong with the Bears
After beginning the offseason cleaning house by firing head coach Marc Trestman and general manager Phil Emery, the Bears have announced that they have hired recently fired Broncos head coach John Fox in a move that will immediately fix every single thing that is wrong with the team in every way imaginable.
Breaking: John Fox spotted eating deep dish pizza
"Look, we don't want to jump the gun here," said GM Ryan Pace. "But the guy likes the deep dish and he went to two Super Bowls. Plus, [Chicago Tribune columnist] David Haugh says I should hire him. I don't want to disappoint 'The Haugh' after he told the Cubs to hire [Joe] Maddon and they did."
