NFL

"I've been hearing a lot about how the young kids like the dabbing nowadays, and I think they'll really feel pretty 'dabbed' about hearing a hip, cool announcer using their 'lingo' during the biggest television event of the year," Nantz was overheard telling a young intern with a media pass.

After making the fourth Super Bowl of his storied career, 39-year-old Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has told reporters that he is excited for an opportunity to take home a second title, promising that, if he were to win, he would be going to Disney World, where he would promptly "take a nice, long nap."

Witnesses at the high-end restaurant where the engagement occurred told media outlets that it was "sweet" and that when she said yes, everyone in the establishment broke into spontaneous applause, with only a few instances of diners wearing large novelty foam cheeseheads shouting things like, "His head clearly isn't in the game anymore" and "He hasn't been the same Rodgers since he shacked up with that Newsroom chick."

"When the Browns hired me, a baseball executive from the moneyball movement who was the general manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers during their second worst season since 1958, to oversea the overhaul of the Cleveland Browns as their Chief Strategy Officer, answerable only to the team president, I knew that they were willing to get their team on track."

"It's really easy," said Urlacher. "You just take thousands of blades of grass from healthier areas of the field and insert them one-by-one in the bare areas."

"Hey, at least most of the country will be passed out by 6 or 7 in a turkey-induced food coma," said Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. "They might not even notice the game. Did we get beat by three touchdowns or was it a close ballgame? Most people probably won't even know until after the weekend."

Play and/or drink along as the Chicago Bears take on the St. Louis Rams in a game sure to be dominated by stout defense, bad penalties and shots of the "world famous" Arch.