NFL

Pete Hellman was supposed to celebrate his 32nd birthday this week, but the Lakeview native will instead be buried after he was Mel Kipered to death during ESPN's coverage of the 2006 NFL draft.

The vaunted Chicago defense did their best to preserve their honor by stating they would, one week after games actually matter, lead the NFC to victory in the Pro Bowl. Embarrassed on their home turf by Carolina's offensive outburst nearly one month ago, led by wide receiver Steve Smith, in the divisional playoff round, the Bears All-Pros have decided to draw a line in the sand of the beaches of Hawaii.

Amid concerns over lackluster ratings predictions and waning national interest in Super Bowl XL, NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue unveiled a whole new game at a Thursday morning press conference.