Scalagreenie: Chicago Bulls dye Scalabrine green to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day
"Hey everybody, look at me! I'm greener than the Chicago River!" the Bulls big man exclaimed. "They even said they're gonna play me for an extra two minutes in the 4th quarter on Saturday ... unless the outcome is still in doubt, of course."
D’Antoni vows to learn the art of defense in his time away
“While we certainly would have made the playoffs this year, it hit me that we didn't play defense like previous NBA champions,” D'Antoni said. “We actually didn't play defense at all, and that was my fault.”
Remorseful Carmelo admits giving up basketball for Lent
“Most people don’t know, but I’m a very religious man,” Carmelo stated. “I was always told you had to give up something you truly love as a test, so I picked my bread and butter … then I remembered I gave up bread and butter last year, so I chose basketball.”
Dwight Howard named Craftsman ‘Tool of the Year’
“I am very excited to be the Tool of the Year,” Howard said. “Being a tool comes very naturally to me, much like the game of basketball. It looks like a lot of work, but I have simply been blessed with a nauseating persona and insufferable demeanor."
Knicks fans brace themselves for Isiah Thomas re-hire
Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni resigned from the team Tuesday after three disappointing seasons at the helm. On any other day, Knicks fans would be relieved, but unfortunately someone uttered the name "Isiah Thomas" as a possible replacement.
Amar’e petitions league to lower rims to nine feet
“I was actually going to ask for eight feet, but I didn’t want to get greedy,” Stoudemire said. “Seriously though man, 10 feet is high as shit. I’m 29 with the body of a 65-year-old. How am I supposed to jump that high?”
Dwight Howard calls himself ‘the man’ for 1 millionth time
"I am the man," said Howard for the millionth time in his NBA career. "And as the man, I want to remain the man, no matter where I go. Derrick Rose is okay, but he's not the man. So if the man goes to Chicago, then he will remain the man and take the last shot every single game."
