NBA

With “Linsanity” cured in the tri-state area, the Knicks have turned their marketing attention to a new point guard duo.

Hours after getting drunk and signing with the Knicks, Jason Kidd sobered up long enough to remember he had signed with the Knicks, then drank away his sorrows. Kidd capped off the self-proclaimed "worst day of my life" by getting behind the wheel of his Escalade and crashing it into a tree.

“They have talent,” said Jordan of Team USA. “But I'd like to see those All-Stars who never play with each other develop a rapport fast enough to not only deal with the Puerto Rico's and Germany's of the world, but also the Charlotte Bobcats. Guys like Bismack Biyombo, Kemba Walker and Matt Carroll go out there and fight and sweat for one another. They could mop the floor with this Team USA.”

"He was kinda sad when we talked," said Bulls teammate Luol Deng. "But then he went into the other room for a few minutes and came back with a huge smile and a half-eaten bag of Funyuns. He also smelled like a skunk."

“I mean we never see anything in the ring anyways, but those NBA guys basically collected a giant check and didn't do anything for 48 minutes,” said Doan. “Plus, I don't expect Dwyane Wade to pull some brass knuckles out of his trunks so this should be a breeze.”

When the Bulls announced earlier this month they were moving from their suburban headquarters and practice facility to a yet-to-be-identified downtown location in a few years, they made sure everyone associated with the team was informed, except Carlos Boozer.

Ever since the Bulls selected him straight out of high school in the 2001 NBA Draft, people have been heavily scrutinizing Eddy Curry. After nine years in the league, many were beginning to wonder if he would ever be able to win a championship. That all changed last week as the Miami Heat's 14th man/South Beached Whale excitedly cheered from the bench as LeBron James and Co. blew out the Oklahoma City Thunder to clinch the franchise's second title.