NBA

"The doctor told me I have 'Rosenesia' and that it's very minor, and I shouldn't worry about it, so I'll just focus on the fact that the Bulls are going to be back on top of the league with Rose back in MVP form. Have you seen him lately? He's just crushing it right now! Go Bulls!"

"We will make sure to replay and over-analyze the Bulls and Heat game so much over the next 24 hours that no fan will be left wanting more, and in fact, all fans of sport everywhere will be desperately begging for us to talk about something other than that three minutes LeBron had to play without his headband on."

“Man, my life is great,” Peppers told ChicagoBears.com in his first interview since the erstwhile Pro Bowler decided to mail it in just after the first preseason game earlier this year. “I spend extra time in the whirlpool at Halas Hall, get at least one massage per day, and two or three times each week, I meet Urlacher for lunch at Chipotle.”

I never dreamed we could get this far in such a short time,” Jordan told the Charlotte Observer. “When we won two games in a row during the final week of last season, beating the Wizards and Hornets, I knew we would earn this respect.”

“MJ and I were kicking back one night talking about what our dream jobs would be," said Rose. "He confessed that he always wanted to be a beer vendor. So I asked him, why not?”

“Shaq was the face of the NBA for years. So why can’t he become the face of the Kings?” Stern said on NBA TV. “However, I will not allow him to rename the team. No way will they be called the Sacramento Shaq Daddies.”

"Aw man, a ring's a ring," James said. "ESPN told me I could include it. They love me there. Could I buy other players' rings or do I really have to win give more to pass Michael? Man, that's a lot of flopping."