Yankee savior Alfonso Soriano tests positive for being an Ex-Cub
The sample was compared to a blood test conducted during his time with the Cubs and they realized that leaving the Cubs actually improved Soriano's DNA to the point that he became an effective baseball player again.
MLB suspends Dempster five games for hitting A-Rod just once
Highly criticized by fans and local media, at least one teammate said Dempster “didn’t have the guts to plunk the S.O.B. the second time he came to the plate. “
Anti-Semite who collects urine for a living offended at being called a Cubs fan
"I might be a lot of things," said Laurenzi in a recent interview. "I collect urine samples for a living. I hate Jewish people. But under no circumstances can anyone get away with calling me a Cubs fan."
Cubs starting to think this might not be ‘The Year’ after all
"I really thought we had a chance to go the distance this season," said manager Dale Sveum, whose 52-68 Cubs are currently tied for last in the NL Central. "Turns out you can't win a World Series with a handful of overpaid, burned-out veterans and no-name rookies with no chance of long-term success at the big league level."
White Sox plan to field ‘all-Garcia’ starting nine by 2015
After acquiring prospects Avisail Garcia from the Tigers and Leury Garcia from Texas, White Sox GM Rick Hahn said by the start of the 2015 season the team intends to field a starting nine all with the surname of Garcia.
Tunney admits he has nothing to do since Wrigley renovation was approved
“Since the renovation was passed, all I’ve been doing is trying to figure out ways to stick my nose in places where it’s not wanted, which is, of course, my specialty,” Tunney told a community newspaper.
‘Vacationing’ Pat Hughes spotted boarding plane to Paris in top hat and fake mustache
“The guy is hilariously recognizable, even with the mustache, top hat, cigar and cane,” said Callie Samuels, the fan who spotted the Cubs radio announcer headed towards an Air France plane.
