White Sox insist team continues to exist, despite Amber Alerts
In an open letter published in the Southtown Star, the Chicago White Sox assured fans that the team still exists, despite Amber Alerts posted recently on the Dan Ryan Expressway.
Girardi stays with Yankees just so he doesn’t have to manage Cubs
“I would have taken a bullpen coach job with the Tabasco Banana Growers of the Mexican League before I’d manage the Cubs.”
Total nobody anxious to assume Cubs’ helm
“Kansas City gave Ned Yost an extension and Minnesota did the same with Ron [Gardenhire]. The Cubs fished for Joe Girardi and got nowhere, so now they’ll look at dark horses and fixate on me.”
Cubs struggling to find manager with worse winning percentage than Sveum
“A win percentage under .400 fits our sabermetrics,” GM Jed Hoyer said. “We feel like a guy needs to hit rock bottom first, so he has nowhere to go but up.”
Wrigley Field to host 10-year anniversary of Cubs being five outs away from World...
“If $10 tickets and the excitement of watching Mark Prior cruise into the eighth inning with a 3–0 lead aren't enough to lure fans into Wrigley, we will also be offering half-price concessions, including beer. It’s going to be a wonderful night.”
Epstein determined to hire new manager before Dusty Baker seeks his old job
“Didn’t you hear?” Epstein proclaimed to reporters. “Dusty Baker was fired. My life is hell. Not only did Cincinnati just improve their ballclub ten-fold and save the careers of their pitching staff, but they also released Dusty into the job market while I’m trying to find a real manager!”
Ricketts learned of Sveum firing on his LinkedIn page
“I was updating my profile on LinkedIn when I got a message from an old fraternity brother from the University of Chicago telling me Dale got the axe,” the Cubs chairman said. “I couldn’t believe it.”
