MLB

In a shocking revelation, the same guy who told the Astros players what pitch was coming also told them a global pandemic was coming so they better sell off some stocks.

Not exactly what Abner Doubleday had in mind when he invented baseball, the Miami Marlins plan to use sex dolls disguised as fans in the stands when baseball resumes.

Today's Wellness Check is with Katie Rich. She's a writer who spent six years at Saturday Night Live and Second City before that. Listen here!

“I think what’s best for everybody in this situation is if the owners keep all of the money and the players play for free,” said Yankees’ owner Hal Steinbrenner. “We want baseball to be played this year. The players want that, the fans want that and we want that. We are willing to do whatever it takes as long as it doesn’t involve making less money.”

As MLB works to institute a plan to resume play this summer, the Cubs announced they intend to socially distance their players by having megastar Javy Baez play all nine positions at the same time.

"That place had the coolest stuff," said 42-year-old John Hicks. "I remember my grandma used to take me there after Cubs games and let me pick out one pack baseball cards for $1 each."

Cubs TV broadcaster Len Kasper revealed via Instagram Wednesday that he has reached an agreement to tour and record with thrash comedy rock band GWAR. Kasper, who plays bass, made a pitch to the band via social media and instantly hit it off.