MLB

“I can’t express how great it feels to throw my second career no-hitter," said Lincecum. "I’d especially like to thank the people that helped me along the way, namely my teammates, my coaches and the guys at 420 Farmacy in Boulder who scored me a nickel bag of Black Bart’s Acapulco Woodbine right after I had just run out of Mystic Mountain Schnozzberry Kush.”

There was no corner office or cubicle space awaiting Manny Ramirez when he arrived in Des Moines’ Principal Park Thursday, where he began his tenure as a player/coach with the Iowa Cubs. Instead, team personnel prepared a bathroom stall in the home team clubhouse for Ramirez to set up shop.

Best known at Wrigley for their late-inning dive-bombing in the bleachers, where they scarf up leftover pretzels, hotdog buns, pizza crusts and whatever else they can muster up, the gulls said they'll now set their sights on still undetermined greener pastures.

The memo stated that anyone under this plan would be given a 2001 Camaro. Traveling north of Chicago Avenue would be discouraged. Only the Chicago Sun-Times is to be read and any online communication is to be communicated through issued AOL accounts. All witnesses would be given residences in the Beverly or Mt. Greenwood neighborhoods.

Stealing a page from the old Baltimore Colts, who quickly packed their bags and took off in U-Hauls for Indianapolis in the middle of the night, the Cubs stole away to Schaumburg during the wee hours of the morning Friday. They left a note signed by Tom Ricketts in their "Little League" locker room in Wrigley Field that only said, "We'll call you."

With their victory over Ghana in the first round of the World Cup, the United States men’s soccer team is just one game shy of equaling the two wins Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija has so far this season.

After an error was discovered on the official Wrigley Field 100th Anniversary celebratory mural last month, the Cubs have announced that they will be replacing the 1927 photo of fans honoring Charles Lindbergh, which was actually taken at Comiskey Park, with a 2003 photo of Steve Bartman deflecting a foul ball in the famous NLCS Game 6 incident of that year.