MLB

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez issued a hand-written apology to Yankee fans, the Steinbrenner family and his teammates for having dated plastic surgery-ridden, post-menopausal pop star Madonna.

As for the former Yankee great, he couldn’t be happier. After all, with the post-season ban in place on Jackie Robinson West, there’s no pressure on A-Rod to perform whatsoever, and that’s typically when he does best, in meaningless exhibition and regular season games.

Following the premature release of the 3rd season of "House of Cards" earlier this week, Netflix erred again and posted the Chicago Cubs' entire 2015 season on Friday. The mistake was caught within 30 hours and all games were pulled off the service, but not before several hundred area viewers were able to view most of the season.

“Talking baseball with Jim Frey, doing shots and beers with Harry Carey and catching fungos off the bat of Shawon Dunston are memories that are simply priceless,” Williams wrote on his blog titled “Williams: Believe It or Not.”

The Chicago Cubs have decided to open the 2015 season as the Chicago Rats, paying homage to the many colonies of rats that have apparently been living at Wrigley Field for the past century.

“I just couldn’t get any good wood on the ball,” lamented Patterson. “Any wood at all for that matter.”

“We have the premier manager in all the game in Joe Maddon, we signed a three-time World Series champion in Jon Lester, and our Spring Training facility is the best in all of MLB,” said Ricketts. “To top it off, Edwin Jackson will rebound in 2015 to win 25 games and take home Cy Young Award honors.”