Scuffling White Sox hire Ace Ventura as new manager
In the middle of an 8-game losing streak and sitting in the bowels of the AL Central, the White Sox front office has decided to move on from the failed Robin Ventura era, and have named 1990s pet detective, Ace Ventura, as the new manager.
Cardinals execs awarded medal of freedom for breaching China’s websites
“First in the Central Division. First in the National League. First in violating cyber-security worldwide, every American is grateful for the Cardinals diligence in cracking these uber-secured websites,” Mr. Obama said in a White House Rose Garden ceremony.
Junior Lake mistakes himself for an actual major leaguer
“I am the new Sammy Sosa,” said Lake, who has struck out at a 32 percent clip over his 584 career at-bats. “Pretty soon I will have hit over 600 home runs and will be in the Hall of Fame.”
Anthony Rizzo hit by pitch from batting tee
“I can’t explain it,” said a stunned Rizzo. “One second I was about to take a swing and the next thing I know, a fastball nails me right next to my man zone. There wasn’t anybody around, but I swear the the [expletive deleted] plunked me."
Cubs call up 7 catchers after Castillo trade: ‘You can never have enough’
The Cubs traded Welington Castillo to the Mariners today and immediately called up seven catchers to replace him on the big league roster.
Join the fun: Two great Cubs and Sox Heckler outings this month
Join The Heckler for great times at Wrigley Field and the Cell this season. We're doing group outings for two games this month: Saturday, May 23, for Sox-Twins (Paul Konerko's jersey retirement and mini-statue...
Cubs to sell beers spiked with foul balls
“It’s the logical next step, Economics 101,” owner Tom Ricketts declared while addressing reporters outside Wrigley’s Captain Morgan Club. “If our fans, the greatest fans in the world, want a beer with a slice of baseball then, by gosh, we’re going to give them a beer with a slice of baseball. For a nominal fee."
