Brilliant sports pundit says Cubs need to start hitting
"You can't win ballgames if you don't score runs," said Silverstein after the Cubs second-straight shutout in L.A. Tuesday night.
Cubs to play NLCS Game 4 in their onesies
With their bats in permanent slumber, Joe Maddon has again turned to his unique baseball methods of wizardry, announcing on Wednesday that the Cubs will play NLCS Game 4 in their pajama onesies.
Crabby Cubs fan still upset Heyward couldn’t properly lay down that bunt
"The Cubs are so lucky [Jason] Heyward's botched sacrifice bunt didn't blow the game for them," said Briedman. "I don't know Maddon thinks his team can get out of the next round with a $180 million guy who can't even properly lay down a bunt."
Hunter Pence returns to full-time job as creepy clown
A day removed from the Giants' NLDS elimination, San Francisco right fielder Hunter Pence has already transitioned to his full-time job as a creepy clown.
"This baseball thing is just to a hobby," said Pence....
David Ross unretiring
"No way in hell am I calling it quits," a beer-soaked Ross said while taking a break from celebrating the Cubs' thrilling comeback NLDS victory over the Giants with his teammates. "This is just way too much fun."
Rahm scalps his remaining Cubs playoff tix to balance city budget
"Everyone made a big deal about the playoff tickets I was able to buy at face value," said Emanuel. "Little did all those idiots know it was all part of my plan to fix this city's broken financial situation."
Cubs clinch 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 NL Central titles
"Look, any time you wrap up a division title for the next four years it's a big deal," said Maddon. "These young guys need to get used to this sort of thing as it's pretty clear we're going to be winning these titles for a while."
