Chicago Cubs Week in Review | April 7, 2013
Carlos Marmol proved to be as combustible as the wildfire Lord Tyrion dumped on Stannis last season in “Game of Thrones” (and we shall now refer to Marmol as &%#!@# for the remainder of the season).
Cubs realize Marmol a problem just two short years after you did
"I know you've been saying this for years," said Sveum, referring to you as you sat on your couch cursing the TV. "But maybe it's time we consider someone else in the ninth."
Darwin Barney fires agent to sign with Vanilla Ice
"It suddenly seems like if you want to be an elite second baseman in this league you need to have a famous rapper repping you," said Barney. "I'm not elite yet, but Ice promised me that with his fire power I'll be making it huge someday soon."
Cubs final bullpen spot down to Marmol or half-eaten box of Valentine chocolates
"I saw the chocolates just sitting there on the bleachers at Hohokam," Sveum said. "They were a complete mess in that Arizona heat. It's going to be a tough call, but right now, we're going to have to make a determination about who will melt down less quickly."
White Sox overhaul Fundamentals Deck to be more trailer park friendly
For the less fortunate Sox fan, commonly known as every Sox fan, the children's-sized baseball diamond has been taken out and a mini trailer park has been installed. Children can enjoy the rusted out 78' Chevy truck on blocks, and adults can test their hitchin' skills on the timed trailer hitch station.
Season tickets for 2014 Rosemont Cubs already sold out
"Rosemont can be home to more than sprawling office parks, rampant corruption and extremely low-flying 747s," said Stephens. "It can also be home to Major League Baseball."
Rizzo will use Italian interpreter during 2013 season
“Say what?” asked puzzled Cubs teammate Edwin Jackson. “Both of the dudes are double-talking. I mean, like, Anthony’s speaking English worse than the dude interpreting the English.”
