Sunday, November 17, 2024

Breaking News: Patrick Kane flies discount airline, continues to enjoy company of young women

The Chicago sports world was rocked to its foundation Wednesday when uber-popular smut-raking blog Deadspin broke shocking news about Blackhawks star Patrick Kane, including that the young millionaire flies a discount airline.

Sports leagues band together to sew athletes’ mouths shut

In a rare move of solidarity, the four major sports leagues have banded together to pass a national mandate requiring all professional athletes to have their mouths sewn shut at the signing of their first contract.

Cubs blogger claims to love team despite doing nothing but bitching about them

Twenty-nine-year-old Chicagoan Pat Snyder claims to undyingly love the Cubs even though he does nothing but complain about them on his blog DiggingtheIvy.com.

WikiLeaks shocker: CIA uses ‘Go Cubs Go’ to torture terror suspects

The latest bombshell WikiLeaks release revealed the United States CIA regularly uses the Steve Goodman anthem "Go Cubs Go" to torture suspected terrorists.

Top 10 new features of Madden ’12 other than concussions

EA Sports announced Madden ’12 will include concussions. Here are the top 10 other new features.

Jalen Rose finally learns what an ‘Uncle Tom’ actually is

Jalen Rose created a stir last month when he referred to black Duke players as "Uncle Toms" during a documentary about his Michigan "Fab Five" team from the early 1990s. Today he's issuing an apology for his comment after finally being told what an Uncle Tom actually is.

Judd Sirott’s application for additional inning of play-by-play duty rejected

Judd Sirott’s career fast track hit a bump in the road recently when the nonstop talker’s application for an additional inning of Cubs play-by-play was rejected because, in the hiring manager’s opinion, Sirott must be “raving mad.”