A-Rod caught making out with himself in the mirror again
Always a breath away from a controversy, Alex Rodriguez was again caught kissing himself in a Yankees locker room mirror, part of an apparent self-loving trend that began in 2009 with a now-infamous Details magazine mirror make-out photo.
NFL owners decide to test theory that ‘fans don’t pay to see the owners...
With the NFL lockout on the verge of updating its status from rumor to reality, the owners have decided to test the theory that fans don’t pay to see the owners play by organizing professional kick the can leagues where the owners star as players.
Yankees fan insists infatuation with A-Rod is purely platonic
“Do I come down here and stare at these posters from time to time?” asked Herbst. “Yes, I do. Often. He’s a beautiful specimen of manhood.”
McIlroy celebrates US Open win with drug-fueled porn star orgy
"At such a tender age, Rory plays the sort of golf that energizes our fan base like no one else since Tiger Woods," said PGA Director Tim Finchem. "Unfortunately Rory also shares Woods' penchant for off-the-course excesses. We've got to figure out a way to cover this up."
Cubs spruce up ‘dumpy’ Wrigley with new wallpaper
"The Yankees are the most famous team in all of sports and just got a brand new $2.3 billion stadium," said Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. "And since people from around the league have recently started calling our stadium a dump, we had to do something to liven the place up."
Yanks send Colon to DL with nonexistent left hamstring
“This was the first case I’d ever seen of a man having more ham than hamstring in his body, truly a marvel of modern medicine,” reported an anonymous doctor.
Bettman folds Canucks as Vancouver ‘again proves itself unworthy of an NHL franchise’
Bettman made the announcement from a limousine in downtown Vancouver that was being rocked back and forth by a few dozen local hooligans Wednesday night.
