Everything else

"Simpson's career might be up in smoke and I just wish he would have thought of all his fantasy owners before making such a stupid decision," wrote Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay.

With just one full semester remaining of his Stanford education, Andrew Luck expressed dismay over the lack of architecture jobs available in today’s economy.

Not satisfied with adding University of Colorado and University of Utah to transform itself to a Championship Game eligible conference, the newly-formed Pac-12 announced its plan to form a PAC-144 SuperConference.

"We'd like to thank Coors for their continued support of the Colorado Rockies, but with all due respect, we'd like our stadium to be sponsored by a local beer that doesn't taste like moldy rainwater," said Monfort. "Unfortunately the only local brewery with a sponsorship budget is Coors so we're going to have to get creative if we want our park named after a beer that doesn't suck."

Birthday shout outs to Joel Quenneville, who turns 53 today. Here is an exclusive photo of the Blackhawks coach from shortly after his birth in 1958 and another just a few years later.

“There’s nothing like a good uniform to really excite me," said John Benson of Cleveland. "Sure, I could just Google a bunch of sports jerseys online for free, but the Uniform Edition is a classic. I remember when I was a kid at the barber and I first found out about this swimsuit magazine that had pictures of uniforms in it.”

“Every night, I see hundreds of ‘Resign Jose Reyes’ signs, ‘Please Resign Jose,'” said a distraught Reyes. “I play this game with pride, and if the fans don’t want me, I don’t want to stay here and make them angry.”