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“I like the hat is all,” fibbed James. “It has nothing to do with my hairline; I’m just sick of headbands and want to express my patriotism. Besides, I’m not balding, that’s just trickery in the arena lights.”

Established in 1904, Role Model Magazine highlights the athletes that embody the standards of excellence we should all strive to achieve off the field. But while the mag has had many more hits than misses, it's not perfect. Here are a few of the publication's notable "oops" moments.

After 160 straight hours of nauseating coverage of the Penn State sex abuse scandal, ESPN programmers were contacted by authorities at the Federal Communications Commission late Wednesday evening. The message was simple: Change your programming, or we’ll change what your call sign stands for.

"I was totally hammered at my buddy's barbeque and saw what I thought was a tiny tennis racket and started hitting the goofing cone thing at some of our friends," said Steeger. "I had no idea it was an Olympic sport and, to be honest, I'm still kind of surprised it is."

In the wake of Monday’s events – during which Ryan Dempster himself cut down wild trade speculation shortly before the Cubs played in Pittsburgh – the Cubs’ front office has deemed it necessary for players to have their cell phones on them at all times. If only to prove where they are.

"This is a time to celebrate," said a spokesperson for McDonald's, global sponsor of this year's games. "While it's true our food has actually prevented countless athletes from reaching their full potential, it's also true that our Double Quarter Pounder is delicious! And that's 90 percent of your daily allowance of saturated fat for just $3.49!"

Desperate to raise cash after getting hit with a $60 million fine by the NCAA Monday, Penn State listed the now-removed Joe Paterno statue on eBay, where it hopes to fetch top dollar for the otherwise worthless 900-pound piece of bronze that stood outside Beaver Stadium until yesterday.