ESPN awarded ESPY for ‘Most Awesome, Unbiased Sportscasting’
"I'd just like to say thank you to all of the fans of ESPN out there who keep watching us week in and week out to hear the exact same catchphrases, jokes, and my stupid nicknames!" said Chris Berman.
2014 MLB All-Star Game to feature ‘Groundout-To-First-Derby’
League officials were said to be initially skeptical of the new competition, but they were convinced after watching hours of taped "highlights" of recent Cubs, Astros and Mariners games.
Cutbacks force Arlington Park to resort to jockey-less horse races
“One of the biggest myths ever perpetrated on the racing public is the notion that a jockey makes a difference," said the official. "Half of these guys just hang on for the ride and collect a pretty good buck to do it."
NHL salary cap lowered to $9.50 per hour
Players will also be responsible for providing their own equipment and a car-pool program has been set up for traveling to games. It is not yet known if drivers will receive an allowance for gas money.
Starlin Castro criticized for not hustling during slow-motion replay
“Starlin should really be aware in that situation that every other player on the field has slowed down,” said Sullivan. “If he just manages to keep hustling, that’s easily an infield hit.”
Thibodeau named to Team USA staff for 2016, hopes to have Rose back by...
"Gee, that's a tough one," Thibs said. "I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV, but I would think that four years would be more than sufficient time for a knee injury to heal."
Justin Bieber placed on suicide watch after Heat, Kings lose
Nobody took the near-simultaneous losses harder than Heat/Kings diehard fan Justin Bieber.
