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While Obama showed moxy in picking his alma mater, Harvard, to upset Cincinnati, Putin was dead-on with his selections of underdogs Mercer, North Dakota State and Dayton. Putin’s only losses occurred with picks of New Mexico State and St. Joseph’s, both overtime losers.

Believe it or not, a Winter Olympics just happened in Sochi, Russia. The valiant souls who attempted to live there for a couple weeks were treated to ideal (spring) weather, living conditions that could...

“After my last concussion, the speech therapist had me pronouncing the words, ‘Sami,' 'Kimmo' and 'Lasse,'” American left winger Max Pacioretty said. “Little did I know guys with those names would be kicking my ass up and down Main Street.”

“I see where the Cubs are going with this,” International Olympics Committee Chairman Marcus Lantham said upon reviewing the Cubs application. “No one can lose in ways so devastating to their fans and at exactly the worst of moments as the Cubs can.”

“The thing is, in biathlon, with such a small caliber bullet, you have to really compensate for the wind rattling it around. As you can imagine, even for the strongest women with the most toned hindquarters, that level of concentration needed is tough to maintain after skiing for several kilometers at a world-class speed.”

This isn't the only example of Hellman wasting the collective nation's time. He has objected to more than 20 weddings, he constantly asks additional, pointless questions at the end of meetings, and he even writes checks to pay for his groceries.

"Covering the the Olympics is about identifying the human moments that we all can relate to," said Mark Lazarus, chairman of NBC Sports. "And what's more human than getting bullied by a needling reporter?"