Sister Jean’s fame reaches new heights as she’s linked romantically to Drake
It’s been a whirlwind week for Sister Jean Dolores-Schmidt, the energetic nonagenarian superfan of Loyola Chicago Basketball. First she was seen in the stands as her beloved Ramblers basketball team defeated the Miami Hurricanes on a buzzer beater.
God to March Madness teams: ‘I’m only helping Loyola and Sister Jean’
God took a break from trying to fix the world today to send a message to all the NCAA basketball tournament teams that are not Loyola: “I’m not helping you.”
The Heckler Recalls: Andres Nocioni
Began professional career in the Argentine basketball league in 1995 at the age of 16. Voted the league’s Best Sixth Man in 1998-99. Voted Spanish league MVP in 2004. Won Olympic gold and bronze medals with Argentina in 2004 and 2008, respectively.
Ryan Lochte changes name to Simone, sets sights on Tokyo
“I identify more as a Simone. That name is just gold right now,” Lochte shared. “I’m also thinking I'd be pretty rad at weightlifting or gymnastics.”
Three Iowa State starters out for UVA game after meeting with Hoiberg, Bulls
"Fred was nice enough to introduce us to the NBA All-Stars on the Bulls," Niag said. "Derrick Rose taught all of us what it means to be an NBA star and how much work you have to put in ... and how occasionally you need to rest."
‘The Irish will win the tournament!’ asserts alum who hasn’t watched a game since...
"Listen, think about it, [2015 2nd round NBA pick] Pat Connaughton is a monster on the boards, and [#19 overall pick in the 2015 NBA Draft Jerian] Grant's just the kind of player to put us ahead of the rest of the field. Just ask around, everyone knows that this year is the best crop of players we've had in a long time."
Bettman admits to suspending ailing Toews ‘for fun’
“This commissioner gig is pretty sweet if you can get it,” said Bettman. “I must admit, it certainly makes me chuckle thinking how mad Johnny must be, with his little serious cheeks, and that he’s too weak to summon the energy."
