Saturday, November 23, 2024

No Heisman for Te’o, but Notre Dame does vote him next Pope

That white smoke rising from the golden dome in South Bend, Indiana isn’t a riot because Manti Te’o didn’t win the Heisman. It is, instead, the smoke from the University of Notre Dame voting Te’o the next Pope.

Bielema headed to Arkansas because their colors match his wardrobe

"Well, thankfully they're the same colors, I don't have to waste time shopping. Ain't nobody got time for that," said Bielema. "It's an SEC school, so who cares if they've become even more of a joke while I'm there? I'd rather be a loser in the SEC than a winner by default in the Big Ten."

Badgers named best Big Ten team that didn’t get tattoos illegally or have a...

Congratulations go out to the Wisconsin Badgers, who emerged as the Big Ten's best football team that didn't trade tattoos for memorabilia or have a long-time coach emerge as a pedophile after retirement.

Nebraska players admit being distracted by hectic class schedules

"Man, I've got this killer Sociology final coming up that I've been totally stressing over," said Martinez, who threw two picks in the losing effort.

Big East to add Hamburger University, Clown College, and the School of Rock

The question remains whether the Big East realizes that these are not actual institutions of higher learning with athletic programs, but their interest in them should be of no surprise – it’s money.

Notre Dame to play entire SEC for BCS National Title

With the SEC comprising half of the top ten, the computers have come up with the solution of just having Notre Dame play against all five teams.

Millions of idiot Hoosiers face Indiana University-Notre Dame wardrobe conundrum

Glaxton, like several disloyal Hoosiers, oddly chooses to root for Indiana University’s number one ranked basketball team while also rooting for Notre Dame’s number one ranked football team.