Athletes In Trouble

“Some kids started asking Santa too many questions,” said Shaw. “So I asked them if they wanted to dance, dropped my little green gloves and went to town. I didn’t think it was a big deal since we were about the same size.”

For the first time in history, both men and women alike scrambled to find the Oprah Winfrey Network in their cable guide on Thursday in order to see the big confession interview of one Lance Armstrong. Like all those who followed and worshiped Lance through the years, they were met with massive disappointment.

Lions DT Nick Fairley issued an apology Wednesday morning for this recent drug and DUI arrests, but stopped short of apologizing for the entirety of both incidents earlier this spring.

Lawrence Taylor’s Super Bowl XXV ring sold at auction for over $230,000 this week. Even more amazing than the price was the mystery winner, Charlie Sheen.

"As you can tell from the photos, I was partying my balls off all day and got a little tired," said Kane, "but I wasn't passed out. I was just taking a quick nap. I'm not some candy-ass who can't handle his booze or something."

At the time, Saints coach Sean Payton said the famed hired guns were with the team "strictly for entertainment purposes," but it now seems there was much more involved.

After Saturday's embarrassing loss to the cellar-dwelling New Jersey Nets, tempers were boiling over as players left the building. The now 25-8 Chicago Bulls seem to have a grasp on this season. Aside from a couple injured starters, this roster doesn't skip a beat. But even the well-oiled machine of Tom Thibodeau can hit a pothole, just like every other driver in Chicago.