Washington

After losing to State Farm spokesperson Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson couldn't stand to support the insurance company, and proceeded to switch over to Allstate.

Marshawn Lynch gave an in-depth interview Thursday about his return to the Seahawks, saying nothing but “You know why I'm here” over and over.

“A good smoke outweighs anything right? I mean I'm in the NFL making millions of dollars, but screw it! I'll get high and ruin my image as a person! Illegal substances banned by the NFL can't hurt either!" - Sincerely, Josh Gordon's brain

“It’s true I know the rules better than anyone and can play-ref this game blindfolded,” claims Sherman. “Unfortunately, I also see this as an opportunity for the league to suspend or fine me double every week.”

"We live in a dynamic media world comprised of digital and traditional channels," said Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. "If NBC is going to charge $4.5 million per Super Bowl commercial while everybody in America is busy playing on Facebook, we feel it's time to monetize what the big blue thumb brings to the big game."

"Bill will not be allowed to participate in any aspect of the 5-hour program. No interviews. No canned speeches in the locker room. Nothing," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "With this punishment, we can finally put the whole scandal behind us and remind people this is a game filled with integrity, presented by Mercedes and Bud Light."

It's not just the biggest sporting event of 2015. Super Bowl XLIX is also the most important advertising day of the year, when the world's most noteworthy brands unveil their best commercials. Thanks to this handy bingo board, you can play (or drink) along as the ads are unveiled.