West

The film "Moneyball" opens this weekend and is already receiving rave reviews from critics across the country, despite a major factual error that depicts the Oakland A's winning the 2002 World Series over the Giants in highly dramatic, walk-off fashion.

"Listen, if Tim Tebow ordered that meal, he'd go with a Spicy Chicken sandwich meal," said one frustrated fan who witnessed the incident. "Maybe he'd even get chili as a side. That's the kind of order that inspires leadership. That’s the kind of order that can push a team to victory."

With just one full semester remaining of his Stanford education, Andrew Luck expressed dismay over the lack of architecture jobs available in today’s economy.

"Nothing provides the natural warmth of a bear skin coat," said Helton. "And I'm ensured it was taken down humanely because I'm the one who killed it with a high-powered rifle while it was playfully frolicking in a meadow with its cubs."

"We'd like to thank Coors for their continued support of the Colorado Rockies, but with all due respect, we'd like our stadium to be sponsored by a local beer that doesn't taste like moldy rainwater," said Monfort. "Unfortunately the only local brewery with a sponsorship budget is Coors so we're going to have to get creative if we want our park named after a beer that doesn't suck."

Amidst the news that a group of Tim Tebow fans were planning to purchase billboard advertisements in an effort to sway Broncos coach John Fox’s decision on which quarterback to start, second string QB Brady Quinn decided to buy a billboard of his own.

The playoff hopes of the Colorado Avalanche were dealt a huge blow when their proposal to allocate 30 points from last year toward the upcoming season was rejected.