‘HarBowl II’ to be held in parents’ backyard next weekend
“None of my guys or Jim’s guys were ready to have our seasons end just yet.” said John. “But due to some NFL rules that only allow teams to play in the Super Bowl if they win their playoff games even if they're coached by a Harbaugh brother, we had to make some adjustments.”
Kenny Williams’ son fulfills family dream of derailing two franchises in one year
After fumbling a pair of punt returns to seal an NFC Championship loss to the Giants, 49ers WR Kyle Williams joined his father, White Sox GM Kenny, by derailing a franchise for the second time in less than a year.
Mike Brown to impose ‘shot tax’ on Kobe after 30 attempts
“This shot tax is similar to the luxury tax levied on teams,” said Brown. “If Kobe goes over the shot cap of 30, he’s paying up. It’ll teach the team how to distribute the ball and not rely on one player.”
Clippers to raise banner commemorating win over Lakers in 9th game of season
The banner will be the first of any kind for the embattled franchise, and will commemorate the Clippers' 102-94 victory over the Lakers on January 14, 2012.
Montero refuses trade to Seattle, joins Peace Corps instead
“I really, really tried to look on the bright side,” Montero insisted. “I mean, Seattle’s not Kansas City, not Cleveland. Still, it didn’t help. Besides, you need a rocket launcher to get a ball out of Safeco. I had to follow my heart.”
Lakers fan refuses to stop bitching about how good Lakers would be with Chris...
Despite the current NBA season being well under way, Los Angeles native and lifelong Lakers fan Nick Torres refuses to stop bitching about how good the Lakers would be had David Stern not vetoed the three-way trade sending Paul to the purple and gold nearly two months ago.
Papa John’s issues controversial receipt calling John Harbaugh ‘third best coach in family’
"This is not something we condone," said Papa John's in a press release. "We expect all of our employees to adhere to strict company standards. It is clear that John Harbaugh is the second best coach in the family. We expect our employees to accurately reflect the accomplishments of our customers.
