Blackhawks play Duck Hunt to mentally prepare to face Anaheim in playoffs
"This team needs to learn that Ducks are weak animals that can be easily dominated," said Quenneville. "I put these games in the locker room so we can gain some confidence heading into the playoffs by blasting animated ducks over and over again."
Campana Convention 2014 organized by disillusioned fans of former Cubs speedster
“Tony is the future of baseball,” said convention organizer Evan Berman. “Running, sprinting, sliding -- all the tools are there. Our convention will celebrate his ability to be super-focused at the expense of literally everything else.”
Lakers games to be broadcast on SOAPnet for remainder of 2013 season
"We're overjoyed!" said SOAPnet exec Sally Benson. "These guys are way more melodramatic than our current shows and storylines. Will Kobe [Bryant] and Dwight [Howard] make up? Or will their rivalry tear this team apart? You'll have to tune in to find out!"
Alex Smith spotted with Colin Kaepernick voodoo doll
“I was only trying to get my souvenir shopping done and out of the way early,” claims the former starting QB.
NHL rulebook update: beating Hawks, Sharks in regulation now worth three points
“Consider the superhuman effort it would take to actually overcome the inevitable six-goal barrage. Add to that the endless forechecking, skilled defense and two hot goalies,” said a breathless league executive. “We wanted to make such an amazing victory special. That is, if it ever actually happens.”
Mark Grace asks new cellmate where all the chicks are at
"Man, this place is kind of a sausage fest," said Grace, ever the ladies man. "Where are all the chicks at? Is there like a sports bar in here or something?"
Super Bowl XVLII Bingo, presented by TheHeckler.com
Play along at home as the San Francisco 49ers and Baltimore Ravens clash to settle once and for all which Harbaugh brother gets the top bunk. Click the image to view a larger, printer-friendly version of the game board.
