Denver

“I freaked out,” said the Cubs’ infielder. When Bote asked the doctor if he would be okay, the doctor responded: “You’re going to be more than okay, David. You are going to be a freaking legend.”

While initially criticized for his seemingly inauthentic marketing plug, it appears that Manning was actually not only serious about drinking a lot of Budweisers to celebrate, but had decided to go on a full, several day long binge where he drank nothing but Budweiser.

Just hours after leading his Broncos to a Super Bowl victory, Peyton Manning has his next opponent planned. Apparently Manning still has not shaken his lost ping pong match to 11-year-old Brady Adams.

"Concussions. Arrests. Even those HGH rumors. This brutal display of athletics on the game's biggest stage has done more to tarnish our sport than any of those other issues," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "Hell, the fact I'm still running this league should be the most embarrassing part of today's festivities. But now? Nope. Not even close."

Manning's decision was not unexpected. Reportedly, Schnatter had become increasingly worried about Manning's on-camera persona. Rumors had been spreading about Manning missing his cues and fumbling his lines. Camera crews began to notice Manning was no longer as sharp with his delivery as he was during his prime, when he was on top with his "cut that meat" commercials

The big game between the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers is finally here. Will it be Peyton's last? Can Coldplay make it the full halftime set without an instrument malfunction? Play and/or drink along with The Heckler's Super Bowl 50 Bingo Board.

"I've been hearing a lot about how the young kids like the dabbing nowadays, and I think they'll really feel pretty 'dabbed' about hearing a hip, cool announcer using their 'lingo' during the biggest television event of the year," Nantz was overheard telling a young intern with a media pass.