Los Angeles

After reports surfaced they were trying to acquire Chris Paul and Dwight Howard, the Lakers shocked the league by announcing that not only do they plan to continue pursuing Paul and Howard, they've also proposed trades for Derrick Rose, Kevin Durant, and sure, why not, LeBron James.

“I could have donated them, but I didn’t feel like dragging them all to the Brown Elephant,” Vaughn said.“ Looks like my only hope for a profitable 2012 would be if the Cubs could sign Yu Darvish.”

In the wake of recently nixing the trade of Chris Paul from New Orleans to the Lakers, NBA Commissioner David Stern has decided to make a few more moves in order to better affect his league. In a statement issued Friday morning, Stern declared that the Christmas holiday -- coinciding with the beginning of the league schedule -- would be cancelled.

Cardinals fans are blowing up Twitter today, voicing their displeasure at Albert Pujols, the "trader" first baseman who signed a 10-year contract with the "Angles" today.

The Mets have acquired Matt Kemp and Clayton Kershaw, but not in the conventional way. Starting in the 2012 season, the Mets and Dodgers will be combined to form one “Super Team.”

Even though he’s in jail awaiting trial on drug and grand theft auto charges, things are looking up for baseball-player-turned-financial-consultant Lenny Dykstra. The former outfielder recently announced he landed a big client: Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, whose team is currently in MLB conservatorship.

The Heckler predicts what will happen in the world of sports in the next 7 days. Among the speculations, Blake Griffin will dunk the moon and Matt Thornton will get an unofficial save.