California

"The Padres went 71-91 this year, which is the exact same record the Cubs had," said Epstein. "You can't teach that kind of symmetry. So we see no reason to believe there will be a drop-off in when Jed and Jason join our club."

Has it really been 15 years since I guided the Ducks to glory against the snobbish varsity squad at Eden Hall Academy in D:3? I guess it has. And now the kids are all grown up and facing the Mighty Blackhawks.

In a shocking move sure to have impact throughout the league, the Raiders have decided to shore up their offense by adding Rex Grossman, the former Bears, Texans and now Redskins QB, to their lineup in exchange for their first-round draft picks from 2014-2017.

Following Palmer's trade to the Raiders, fantasy owners everywhere scurried to either add him to an already mediocre stable of quarterbacks or to persuade league competitors that Palmer is a much more lucrative pickup than a middling running back, up and coming wide receiver, or second kicker.

“Wow!” an exuberated chief executive, Bill Polian exclaimed. “That was your classic trap game against Cincy. I mean, they should beat us, but have such a littered history of massive meltdowns and chokes that I was sincerely worried they might let this one go. I almost considered taking Cedric Benson out on the town last night just to lock this sucker down.”

Lions coach Jim Schwartz went after 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh for blabbering key plot points of the latest installment of this season's "Sons of Anarchy" while both coaches shook hands at the conclusion of their game Sunday afternoon.

"This is terrible news," said Sanchez, who shouldn't miss any playing time with the injury. "I had five cover shoots lined up for the next month: Esquire, Vanity Fair, SI for Kids, Real Simple and Scientific American. Now they're all gone."