California

“This shot tax is similar to the luxury tax levied on teams,” said Brown. “If Kobe goes over the shot cap of 30, he’s paying up. It’ll teach the team how to distribute the ball and not rely on one player.”

The banner will be the first of any kind for the embattled franchise, and will commemorate the Clippers' 102-94 victory over the Lakers on January 14, 2012.

Despite the current NBA season being well under way, Los Angeles native and lifelong Lakers fan Nick Torres refuses to stop bitching about how good the Lakers would be had David Stern not vetoed the three-way trade sending Paul to the purple and gold nearly two months ago.

"This is not something we condone," said Papa John's in a press release. "We expect all of our employees to adhere to strict company standards. It is clear that John Harbaugh is the second best coach in the family. We expect our employees to accurately reflect the accomplishments of our customers.

"Hands down Alex is the best QB the Niners have ever had," said Yerkes minutes after Smith rallied San Francisco to a thrilling last-minute win over the Saints in Saturday's NFC Divisional playoff game. "I can't imagine anyone else in the history of the scarlet and gold I'd rather have leading our team on a final drive in a playoff game than Alex."

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, so the guy has his Super Bowl ring and probably an MVP trophy after this year,” said Smith. “Yeah he might also be the most efficient quarterback ever to play the position. So what? You know who has two thumbs and was drafted ahead of Aaron Rodgers?”