Miami Marlins logo only causing seizures in people who look directly at it with...
“If you’re blind or have your eyes closed, this is a non-issue,” said owner Jeffrey Loria. “We really think people are getting bent out of shape about a problem that only affects 99% of the population.”
Goodell demotes Jags to UFL after blowout by Jets
After the Jets' drubbed Jacksonville 32-3 at MetLife Stadium Sunday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced the Jaguars would be demoted to the United Football League due to their horrendous play and terrible uniforms.
Bears, Saints to retire Kreutz at halftime in New Orleans
In his 13-year career, Kreutz’s production had diminishe of late. “We feel this is the best way to honor him,” said Bears GM Jerry Angelo. “What better way to go out than forcibly and in front of the only two teams he's played for?”
Cam Newton’s father admits his son has been given millions in cash to play...
Following a record-breaking debut by rookie QB Cam Newton Sunday, the Carolina Panthers were rocked by allegations that Cam's father Cecil Newton sought substantial sums of money in return for his son playing for a major professional team.
Carolina Hurricanes renamed ‘Wizards’ to avoid criticism due to actual hurricane
In a preemptive strike to avoid backlash from political-correctness watchdogs and Weather Channel pundits, the NHL’s Carolina Hurricanes announced today that they are changing their name to the Wizards after Hurricane Irene left a large path of destruction along the East Coast this weekend.
Dale Tallon’s Florida Panthers accused of trying to clone six Blackhawks players
Authorities have arrested Florida Panthers GM Dale Tallon after the former Hawks exec reportedly tried to clone half a dozen Chicago players using DNA obtained from stolen practice equipment.
Heckler Comic: Nowitzki casts big shadow in Big D
Following his team's championship, Mavericks star Dirk Nowitzki is stealing some of the limelight from other Dallas athletes.
