South

A day after leaving the White Sox for a fat free agent contract with the Miami Marlins, pitcher Mark Buehrle took out a full-page ad in the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times. Click here to see the PDF.

When San Diego's Mike Tolbert scored a first-quarter TD Monday night against Jacksonville, it gave the Chargers a 7-0 lead but also dealt the country's last undefeated fantasy football team its first loss of the season and provided the 1972 Dolphins with yet another reason to celebrate their claim to fame.

In what seemed to be inevitable, Mets shortstop Jose Reyes signed a six-year, $102 million contract with the Miami Marlins. Mets' GM Sandy Alderson came clean late Sunday night, admitting he completely forgot free agent signing season had begun.

Texas State Police and a few Texas Rangers were called to the home of Dallas Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan after neighbors reported a big dust up in the front yard. When law enforcement arrived, Rob had hos brother Rex in a headlock, repeatedly punching him in the ear.

“Hello friends,” said CBS’ Jim Nance, who is set to call the game with broadcast partner Phil Simms. “This game is not about Tony Romo or Rob Ryan or Reggie Bush, but a big buffoon who left his mark on Thanksgiving Day nearly two decades ago, Leon Lett, who will perhaps go down as the biggest turkey of them all.”

Employing the same formula that brought them championships in 1997 and 2003, the Miami Marlins announced that they have signed free agents Albert Pujols, Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Ryan Madson and immediately began planning the fire sale that has shortly followed those two World Series titles.

"I'm just so, so happy!" Redskins owner Daniel Snyder shouted while dancing at Fur sporting oversized neon Wayfarers and double fisting Pellegrino after Washington's OT loss at home to the Cowboys. "We almost won! We almost won! Tom and Katie should have been at [Sunday's] game!"