Goodell wins Rock, Paper, Scissors standoff, announces Payton suspension instead of Peyton
"We agreed if I won, it would be spelled Payton with an A," said a relieved Goodell. "If the kid from Dartmouth won, it would have been Peyton with an E."
Goodell suspends himself for allowing Bountygate to happen on his watch
Hours after Roger Goodell levied massive suspensions to the New Orleans GM, head coach, assistant coach and former defensive coordinator, the NFL commissioner suspended himself -- without pay -- for a year, acknowledging his role in "allowing the Saints bounty system to occur on my watch."
Mikhail Prokhorov has David Stern assassinated for not making Magic trade Dwight Howard to...
Reportedly, the murder was arranged by Nets' Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov who presumably used his contacts in the Russian mafia to have Stern "taken out" for not forcing Otis Smith and the Magic to trade Dwight Howard to New Jersey by the trade deadline last week.
Dwight Howard named Craftsman ‘Tool of the Year’
“I am very excited to be the Tool of the Year,” Howard said. “Being a tool comes very naturally to me, much like the game of basketball. It looks like a lot of work, but I have simply been blessed with a nauseating persona and insufferable demeanor."
Heckler Comic: Cowboys staying out of Peyton derby
Peyton Manning is on the market, but Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is perfectly happy with his quarterback.
Jose Reyes demands trade after first tour of Marlins Park
“I have no idea what the hell happened,” said Marlins owner, Jeffrey Loria. “He loved the fish tank behind home plate, but as soon as we walked into the outfield it was like he saw a ghost.”
Goodell absolves Gregg Robinson, admits he used to like Rosie from those Bounty commercials...
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell today absolved former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams of any responsibility for the recent bounty hunting controversy after Williams admitted he was influenced by Rosie from the old Bounty paper towel commercials.
