South

Fulfilling a promise he made to his mother while a senior at St. Vincent-St. Mary High School in Akron, Ohio, NBA all-star LeBron James has earned a college degree.

"It wasn't really that hard," said Marian Hossa, who played power forward and held LeBron James to seven points. "Basketball is a very easy game compared to hockey. While this matchup made no sense, maybe it will cause Stephen A. Smith to shut his mouth."

Eyebrows were raised recently when it was reported earlier this week that 2012 Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel was taking college classes online and was only on campus once a month. A spokesperson representing the Texas A&M freshman denied the report saying that Manziel is doing coursework, not online, but through mental telepathy.

“I was only trying to get my souvenir shopping done and out of the way early,” claims the former starting QB.

"We love what the Blackhawks are doing," said former running back Larry Csonka, who is a spokesman for the only Super Bowl-era team to finish a full season undefeated. "We will recognize their accomplishment with one rule--we are not going to count any more games against Columbus."

"I guarantee I'm going to win the Bro Bowl," Rex boasted during the pregame spread of chicken wings, nachos and Budweiser. "With Mark Sanchez as my triple-threat quarterback, there's no way my hack of a brother can take me down!"

"There is a certain former all-conference free agent out there I've had my eye on for awhile," Jones said as he turned to face the gigantic mirror that lines an entire wall of his suite. "Yes sir. Just the guy for the job."