North Carolina

“I'm just tired of playing basketball here all by myself and need to move out of this place,” said Jordan. “So I would like to give the opportunity for someone to play me in a game of HORSE, and if they beat me, I will give my home away free of charge.”

ESPN color man Dick Vitale suffered massive cranial trauma Wednesday night when his head spontaneously combusted after Duke’s Austin Rivers sunk a last-second, three-point field goal to push the Blue Devils past North Carolina.

Following a record-breaking debut by rookie QB Cam Newton Sunday, the Carolina Panthers were rocked by allegations that Cam's father Cecil Newton sought substantial sums of money in return for his son playing for a major professional team.

In a preemptive strike to avoid backlash from political-correctness watchdogs and Weather Channel pundits, the NHL’s Carolina Hurricanes announced today that they are changing their name to the Wizards after Hurricane Irene left a large path of destruction along the East Coast this weekend.

NASCAR made an announcement this morning that it no longer had "no choice" in how the drivers dealt with their off-track feuds. Instead, officials announced they would provide an instrument for channeling their negative energy by having the most recent feuding drivers participate in the next UFC 131 pay-per-view event.

Jalen Rose created a stir last month when he referred to black Duke players as "Uncle Toms" during a documentary about his Michigan "Fab Five" team from the early 1990s. Today he's issuing an apology for his comment after finally being told what an Uncle Tom actually is.

After the unknown driver's first career Sprint Cup win in the Daytona 500, offers for sponsorships and jobs fell at the newly famed racer's feet.