Florida

After a home run off the bat of Justin Ruggiano flew halfway into the second deck, Florida resident Andy Kelley reached most of the length of two full seats to intercept the ball as it bounced by, but fell asleep in the middle of the effort.

After Phil Jackson's memoir, "Eleven Rings," was revealed to contain a section where the Hall of Fame coach compared Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, LeBron James has spoken out to media to express his displeasure that Jackson failed to mention him in the conversation, despite the fact that James never once was coached by the former Lakers and Bulls coach.

“Ugh, that doll is so irritating,” a dissatisfied customer griped. “For the longest time it didn’t make a peep. Then all of a sudden every time my daughter touches the thing it starts crying. Heck, it’s reached the point where the doll starts waa-ing when my daughter just gets close to it.”

Bosh was clearly upset at the report, viewing it as an insult toward his general appearance and gangliness. He spoke long and eloquently at a press conference to deny these rumors, telling reporters, "NEEEYAHHHH, SCREEE SCREEE AYIYIYIYI NEEEUGHHH."

“It’s a [expletive deleted] blast being a wacky morning DJ,” Guillen said in an interview with Spanish language newspaper El Nuevo Herald about the program called The OzZee Show.

“Since I gave up the Presidency in 2008 to my brother, Raul, I’ve been bored out of my cabeza,” Castro told Juventud Rebelde (Rebellious Youth) published by the Union of Young Communists.

Just minutes after the Blackhawks' 6-2 loss to Colorado Friday night, the living members of the 1972 Dolphins again annoyingly toasted the continuation of their reign as pro sports' most recent undefeated team.