Florida

“We wanted to send a special message that here in Miami, no matter how many times a whistle-blower or informant tries to betray our city by speaking out against emotional abuse and workplace harassment, the ‘Miami Strong’ community is here to stand behind our angry and abusive brothers.”

The game on ESPN between two teams in varying degrees of turmoil will be replaced by a commercial-free showing of "Saving Private Ryan."

"I'm just like any other bully, completely insecure about how small my dick is," said Incognito. "A lot of people try to understand why I'm such a jerk, but it all boils down to the way I feel about the size of my penis."

In a week where the Miami Dolphins have been repeatedly slammed by the media for allowing a culture of bullying and hazing to permeate their locker room, it looks as though the team has finally found themselves an ally.

"We will make sure to replay and over-analyze the Bulls and Heat game so much over the next 24 hours that no fan will be left wanting more, and in fact, all fans of sport everywhere will be desperately begging for us to talk about something other than that three minutes LeBron had to play without his headband on."

The Denver Broncos come into Sunday's contest versus the Jaguars having scored 362 points in five games this season, led by Peyton Manning, who is averaging 13 TD's a game during that span.

No way am I putting this carload of crapola on my air,” station manager Delmore “Bo” DuBose of Dothan, Alabama’s WTVY-TV 4 said. “I’ll put on a replay of the 1974 Auburn-Alabama game."