Miami

"This will finally determine if the Blackhawks have an answer for LeBron James," said ESPN NBA analyst Stephen A Smith. Smith was in full support of the idea, after last year when he claimed that the Heat were more impressive than the Blackhawks.

LeBron James’ broken nose had a double-double with 13 points and 10 assists in its return to the court in the Heat’s 123-98 win against the Knicks in Miami. LeBron’s nose was broken in a game against the Thunder last week.

"With everything that has been going on this past month, I really wanted an outlet to take my mind off of this unfortunate situation," said Incognito. "And when Adam Sandler called me personally to ask if I wanted to play an obnoxious bully who only repeats the words 'O'Doyle Rules!' while trying to make people weaker than me miserable, I knew I had found that outlet."

“We’ve been draining every ounce of energy from this song for several years,” said Bowman. “Honestly, at this point it’s become way too humble. Seriously. We’ve got rings, plural. Girls. Whirlpools. The guys are popping out babies left and right. It’s time to rap about it.”

“We wanted to send a special message that here in Miami, no matter how many times a whistle-blower or informant tries to betray our city by speaking out against emotional abuse and workplace harassment, the ‘Miami Strong’ community is here to stand behind our angry and abusive brothers.”

The game on ESPN between two teams in varying degrees of turmoil will be replaced by a commercial-free showing of "Saving Private Ryan."

"I'm just like any other bully, completely insecure about how small my dick is," said Incognito. "A lot of people try to understand why I'm such a jerk, but it all boils down to the way I feel about the size of my penis."