Dolphins

In a week where the Miami Dolphins have been repeatedly slammed by the media for allowing a culture of bullying and hazing to permeate their locker room, it looks as though the team has finally found themselves an ally.

Just minutes after the Blackhawks' 6-2 loss to Colorado Friday night, the living members of the 1972 Dolphins again annoyingly toasted the continuation of their reign as pro sports' most recent undefeated team.

"We love what the Blackhawks are doing," said former running back Larry Csonka, who is a spokesman for the only Super Bowl-era team to finish a full season undefeated. "We will recognize their accomplishment with one rule--we are not going to count any more games against Columbus."

“He’ll never take that from me,” gurgled Marino. Sobbingly, he picked his head up, stared at the three reporters in the room and muttered, “I’m in the best shape of my life. And I eat pizza, pasta, and even burgers.”

When San Diego's Mike Tolbert scored a first-quarter TD Monday night against Jacksonville, it gave the Chargers a 7-0 lead but also dealt the country's last undefeated fantasy football team its first loss of the season and provided the 1972 Dolphins with yet another reason to celebrate their claim to fame.

In the wake of the Broncos’ 18-15 overtime victory against hapless Miami this weekend, the Dolphins have announced Sun Life Stadium will be turned into a holy shrine and no longer used for football.

After losing out on head coach Jim Harbaugh, who was hired by the 49ers, the Miami Dolphins will instead focus on the tandem of former NFL quarterbacks Steve Walsh and Erik Kramer.