Dolphins

Hollywood suffered a major loss Monday as Don Shula -- an actor known for his role as a football coach in the 1994 film "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" -- passed away at the age of 90.

A few months ago, LSU quarterback Joe Burrow was considered the clear No. 1 pick in the draft. While he didn’t do anything to hurt his stock, another individual just did too much to raise his own.

Wet Willies, atomic wedgies and super hot Indian burns can all be given by the man who has been unceremoniously removed from every team he has played for dating back to college.

"With everything that has been going on this past month, I really wanted an outlet to take my mind off of this unfortunate situation," said Incognito. "And when Adam Sandler called me personally to ask if I wanted to play an obnoxious bully who only repeats the words 'O'Doyle Rules!' while trying to make people weaker than me miserable, I knew I had found that outlet."

“We wanted to send a special message that here in Miami, no matter how many times a whistle-blower or informant tries to betray our city by speaking out against emotional abuse and workplace harassment, the ‘Miami Strong’ community is here to stand behind our angry and abusive brothers.”

The game on ESPN between two teams in varying degrees of turmoil will be replaced by a commercial-free showing of "Saving Private Ryan."

"I'm just like any other bully, completely insecure about how small my dick is," said Incognito. "A lot of people try to understand why I'm such a jerk, but it all boils down to the way I feel about the size of my penis."