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The Milwaukee Brewers beat the Cubs 5-4 Thursday, taking the series three games to one on an afternoon riddled with misspellings.

The Pittsburgh Pirates set a new team record against the White Sox Wednesday night, but it wasn't one they'll look back on fondly. The South Siders handed the Bucs their lucky 13th straight loss—the most for the club since the handlebar mustache was in style among baseball players—with a come-from-behind victory.

After going winless at home for the month, the Cubs finally found the cure for their ailments Wednesday—a washed up opposing reliever.

Tattered and torn and generally overused, the Cubs will replace the blue "L" flag, flown over the bleachers after a loss, with a flag reading "We Tried Real Hard." The new flag is expected to fly starting with their next home loss, which will likely occur at the next home game. It's a move supported by both management and players.

It's every man for himself on the S.S. Cubby Blue, as the ship continues to sink with amazing speed. Each player is doing his best to look his worst, hoping a life raft is thrown his way from a team based anywhere but on Chicago's North Side.

Sam Cicioni bears a striking resemblance to Phoenix Suns two-time MVP point guard Steve Nash. Until now, however, that has earned the Akron, Ohio, schoolteacher little more than a few second glances and one mistaken make-out session at a Cleveland bar when the Suns were visiting town. But thanks to the inept draft habits of the Chicago Bulls, that's all going to change: Cicioni has been notified by the Bulls that he will be the team's first-round draft pick Wednesday.

Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker and general manager Jim Hendry have spent the last two months urging Cubs fans to be patient until they "have their horses back." Well, Mark Prior came back and got two losses, Derrek Lee came back and helped his team lose 8-1, and Kerry Wood is the kind of horse that should be sent to the glue factory.