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The Chicago Bears eagerly wrapped up training camp in Bourbonnais Wednesday, and now the team heads north to prepare for its second preseason game Friday against the San Diego Chargers. Despite visiting Bears fans giving the town of Bourbonnais rave reviews, the players couldn't wait to jump into their cars and head back to Chicago.

Former Chicago Bulls forward Lonny Baxter was arrested Wednesday by Secret Service agents after attempting to pop a cap in the White House's ass. Shots were fired from a white SUV driven by the chunky 27-year-old at the intersection of 17th and I Streets in downtown Washington D.C., only two blocks away from the White House. It is uncertain whether the gat was squeezed by the ex-University of Maryland standout or his passenger, 35-year-old Irvin Martin.

With the season opener less than a month away, Bears Pro Bowl safety Mike Brown will not be in the backfield for the foreseeable future after injuring his right Achilles' tendon during Friday night's loss to San Francisco. Some fear the injury to be serious, but Brown has downplayed what he calls a "twinge."

Coming off their sweep of the suddenly mortal Detroit Tigers, the Chicago White Sox are looking to close the chasm between themselves and the division leaders this week with a peaceful, easy series at home against the lowly Kansas City Royals.

Carlos Zambrano got another win for the Cubs on Monday night, lasting eight innings in Houston to beat the Astros by a score of 3-0. He walked seven while giving up just four hits.

Somewhere in the bowels of U.S. Cellular Field, Sox pitcher Javier Vazquez is pacing the floor, pausing only occasionally to thrust a clenched fist into the sky and yell, "Teahen!"

Matt Murton homered to tie the game in the ninth and then two and a half hours later he hit a two-run single to mercifully end an 18-inning game that was allowed to continue for reasons no one could actually explain.